It's called the 401 Keg Plan

FOR YOUR RETIREMENT: If you had purchased $1,000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00.

With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1,000.00.

With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 left.

But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of Beer one year ago, drank all the beer , then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling refund, you would have had $214.00.

Based on the above, current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.
It's called the 401 Keg Plan